I am a hippy type, and in the circles I run in, many women want to be midwives. I really pray we can move past that to become birth givers, and so I’d like to share my birth with you.
I became pregnant in ’97. I was 22, and had never thought much about birth. I assumed I would have a home birth with a midwife.
So now I’m pregnant and we travel looking for a nest that reflects what we believe and how we want to honor our child’s life. Meeting many midwives and reading many books, I feel disempowered by my sisters who think they know more about what is happening to me than I do.
I’m 8 months now, and all this seems so cosmic and divine. So we go to San Fran Hot Springs in New Mexico where our friends have developed an awesome pool – a hot pool on the river so the cool water can run through as desired. Yes, this was where our child would arrive. I was prepared to trust, we didn’t know much and yet we knew everything. We were not in control of life and so we had faith.
Wake at midnight Nov.10 to throw-up. Is this it? Contractions coming, light and smooth every 5 minutes. I trance-sleep so that the contractions are waves and I am surfing to the peaks and it’s all gone for 5 minutes. Another wave, until about 6am when I decide to go for a soak. It’s so mild, rhythmic, hot soak, relaxing and feeling the opening, mmmm.
Day is here, water runs, walking and enjoying the day. We’re living in our teepee and a few of our friends are camped all around. We’re all excited. Are we really allowed to do this, will it work? One sister has had a baby, hospital birth but she’s done it. 3pm, steady contracions all day have moved to 3 minutes and the warm water sounds good. Walk to the birth pool, soaking and going completely inside with each contraction while life flows on outside. River flowing, storm coming, beautiful place and the contractions are coming….mmm, it’s happening.
Papa trys to check dilation. Silly idea, he says I’m about a centimeter. It’s getting dark. 10 minutes later we realize the head’s crowning. I think I need to push and baby’s already down. Someone’s yelling for a light, moon shining above with the huge moonbow that says a storm’s coming. Uncontrollable gorgeous moans, I love this! There’s a head under the water. “Do you see that?!” I ask everyone. It stays a minute, then births in a few minutes more. Papa guides baby from the spring to me, noticing it’s a boy! He’s so big and alive, we see him pink up, no mucus, perfect everything! Joy! After a bit Papa takes him and rests him in the water where he stretches out, wiggles toes and fingers.
I deliver placenta, we all get up and walk back to the teepee. In the excitement I am left alone in this sacred canyon with my new son in the moonlit night. I am in full bliss, I give thanks.
This was the birth of Bhajan Ananda. Since then we have had some more babies (not me, friends). One soul came to a remote hotspring in Saline Valley (next to Death Valley) in a homemade pool inside a teepee. That papa received his son with a few friends, and we are all really family. Most recently I was able to receive my close sister’s baby as papa wasn’t comfortable, and that honor was so beautiful! Jaya was born in her intact sac with a smile, so gentle.
I am thankful to have discovered your book and feel part of this gentle revolution. I am so thankful for the trust and faith that allowed me to realize this and be a part of all these unassisted births, so thanks! I really wanted to share our humble story. All your stories bring such joy!
Peace and love, Kathy