Some
background:
I
knew from the moment I got pregnant that I did not want to have my baby through
the Maternity Center I had used for my son Jacob, but it took my first two
trimesters before I realized the right answer for me was NOT a different
Maternity Center, but to give birth at home. So 7 months pregnant, we hired a
midwife to attend our birth. She came very highly recommended from three
different people (with completely different backgrounds) and has a superb
reputation for being very "hands off." During this time, I also started to
resonate with the idea of giving birth unassisted.
I
did not think I was in the "head space" I would need to have a successful
planned UC (UC = unassisted childbirth) which is why we went with the midwife.
However, the closer to BirthDay I got, the more driven I was to be physically,
mentally and spiritually prepared to UC "just in case." I knew I would want to
labor on my own as long as possible, so I resolved not to call our midwife
until/unless my intuition told me it was the right time to call. In keeping
with this, I also decided that this birth was going to be free from some of the
drama associated with the birth of my son (which I believe largely came from my
fear of the birthing process combined with the expectations of those around
me). I read and read and read books on Homebirth and UC. I surrounded myself
with positive examples and committed myself to working on trusting the process,
trusting my body and learning how to handle complications that could arise
while giving birth and afterwards.
The
story:
Sunday
afternoon and evening. My husband Hillel and I decided it was finally time to
clear out the room that is being used by our nanny, Sally. Her room was full of
our clothes and Goodwill was scheduled to come Tuesday morning to pick them up.
By nature, I can be slow to start projects, but once begun, I can't stop. So in
my cleaning frenzy, I joked that I could be nesting.
By
about 6pm that evening, I acknowledged (to myself only) that I was having
fairly steady if irregularly timed contractions/surges. They'd last 30-45
seconds with as little as 7 minutes and as much as 18 minutes between them.
Based on my labor with Jacob, I thought we'd probably be meeting our new baby
within a few days.
I
decided to set up the AquaDoula (birthing tub). To my dismay, the set did not
include a hose so we would have to either bring our garden hose inside, or wait
until the morning when Hillel could get a clean one from Home Depot. Around
9pm, I told Hillel that I was having surges and that I did not want to wait
until the morning to fill the birthing tub. So he dragged the hose in the house
and we emptied our hot water tank into the tub. By the time we noticed there
was no more hot water, we had actually pumped a good bit of cool water into the
once hot tub. So I covered it to retain as much heat as possible and resolved
to finish filling it in the morning.
That
night when I lay down for bed, I could not get comfortable. My baby was
posterior and even lying on my side was not working for me. So I got my birth
ball (freshly inflated from my cleaning/prep work earlier that day) and spent
the night in the bathroom - sometimes laboring on the toilet, sometimes
laboring on the birth ball, and resting as much as I could between surges. I
visualized my cervix opening effortlessly and concentrated on keeping my bottom
loose and relaxed during my surges.
Around
4:30am, Hillel woke up and came to the bathroom. I told him my surges were
averaging 5 minutes apart and lasting about a minute. He asked me if I wanted
to call the midwife. I told him, "not yet." He then *looked* at me and asked if
I wanted to have this baby by myself. For the first time, I admitted to him and
myself - "yes, I do." Then to put his (my?) mind at ease, I followed it with
"but if my body tells me to call the midwife, then I will." I felt like I
really made peace between the part of me that wanted a UC and the part of me
that wanted my midwife safety net. I gave myself permission to call the midwife
in time to attend the birth if that's what I needed. And I knew that it would
be a beautiful birth no matter what. Shortly before sunrise, I built a chair of
pillows in the bed and snoozed upright for a couple hours as the sun rose.
I
had hoped if I didn't give birth at night, that I would be able to get my 20
month old, Jacob, when he woke up and I was thankfully able to do so. I noticed
that whenever I took my focus away from the birth process, things slowed down.
Whether it was tending to my boy, or having a conversation with my husband, it
was like my body received a message of "would you mind holding off for a few
minutes while I take care of something?" Pretty neat. As soon as I sent Jacob
downstairs with Hillel, things resumed their normal pace.
I
decided to give our midwife a call to let her know what was going on. I told
her to go ahead and keep her morning appointments and she said she'd call after
her first to see how things were progressing. My spirits were great and I
certainly did not sound like a woman in heavy labor. Around 8, I started adding
hot water to the tub. Around 8:30 I decided that even though the tub was not
yet full or warm enough, (it's supposed to be between 98 and 100 degrees and it
was just over 90) that I wanted get in (darned if after spending $150 to rent
the thing I wasn't going to at least *try* it!). I asked Hillel to put a big
soup pot of water on the stove to boil to warm up the pool.
In
the water, I was very comfortable between surges. My back had ached through
most of this pregnancy and the buoyancy of the water was a blessing. Water or
no water, surges still required concentration, but in the resting time between
them...bliss! I told Hillel that I might try to nap a bit in the water since I
had not slept much all night. My body had other ideas. Hillel had to bring me
an empty trash can because suddenly I became nauseated and needed to throw up.
Hello transition!
Not
long after that, the midwife called wondering if she should come over. At first
I said "no" and right after that, my body was hit with an super intense surge -
the most intense yet! I changed my answer to "yes" at the same time the midwife
(who I assume heard my vocalizations) said "I'm on my way." Somewhere during
this (neither Hillel nor I can remember if it was before or after the phone
call) my water broke. I was so excited - I knew our baby would be here soon.
Hillel
brought up a space heater and one of two pots of hot water he had boiled for
the tub. I continued to have very strong intense opening contractions and I was
vocalizing through them. He emptied the first pot of water into the tub, and
the warm water felt like a slice of heaven. I told him that the water felt
Sooooo good. Hillel went downstairs to get the second pot and during that short
period of time, my body gave me such an urge to push I could not hold it back.
By the time Hillel arrived with the second pot, our baby was crowning. I
reached down between my legs and could feel hair (HAIR!!!) waving in the water.
I was so excited. "I can feel hair!!" Another surge. "She's coming!"
So
much for the second pot of water - Hillel poured it down the sink and came to
the side of the tub. I exclaimed "The head's out!" At first because of my
body's position in the water, he couldn't see, but when I turned, lo and
behold, there was a head. I felt the baby turn inside me and another surge had
me pushing out her torso. I reached down to get her and Hillel said "She's not
out yet, don't pull her up - let her come out on her own."
I
could feel her kicking inside - an incredible, surreal feeling. One more push
and out she swam into my hands. I pulled her up as far as her umbilical cord
would allow to rest her on my chest. Bliss. I wept with joy. At some point I
realized I was referring to the baby as "her" but I hadn't even checked yet. So
I looked and exclaimed "It's a girl!"
I
kept saying over and over "I'm so happy." We watched to see her breathe. She
was pretty snorty and fluid-filled so Hillel got the sucker and gently
suctioned her nose and I got her mouth. I asked him to get the camera so we
could have a few pictures and after a little time, I stepped out of the tub
with help from Hillel (it's quite a challenge to do this while holding a
newborn who's still attached at the umbilical cord!) and sat on the birthing
stool to nurse her while we waited for the placenta to come.
I
was bleeding quite a bit but still well within what's considered "normal" -
Hillel checked frequently to make sure it wasn't excessive. Within a few
minutes, it was clear that the bleeding had stopped. We decided to wait until
our midwife arrived before cutting the cord since we didn't have any scissors
sterilized (and Hillel had dumped what boiled water we had down the drain!) so
we got to enjoy a good half hour of alone time before she got there. One of the
only bummers about waiting to cut the cord as long as we did is that Hillel
didn't get to hold Mali for close to an hour. Almost the exact reverse of
Jacob's birth where it was a good 40 minutes before he got held and nursed by
me.
Anyway,
the rest is fairly uneventful. The midwife arrived with big smiles and
congratulations about a half hour after the birth. She shook her head said
"Second time Moms....I knew you were gonna do this!" and we both laughed. She
clamped the cord and Hillel cut it. We wrapped up Mali (who had already pooped
all over her receiving blanket) and gave her to her Aba (Daddy) while I took a
nice warm shower. I had one tear that I decided to get stitched since it wasn't
laying nicely but other than that, I felt great. We wiped Mali down with warm
baby wipes to clean her of the poop and weighed her in a sling-scale. 8 pounds,
4 ounces. 20 1/4 inch long. We snuggled while the midwife took care of all the
cleanup (worth every penny!).
A
couple days later I'm amazed at how quickly my body's returning to
pre-pregnancy condition. For the last half of pregnancy, I had SERIOUSLY UGLY
varicose veins and swelling. Two days later they're almost all gone. With
Jacob's birth, my bottom side looked like a baboon or a mutant peach. I could
not sit without pain. With this birth, the only swelling I have is around my
tear and it's minimal. I can sit and go about my daily stuff in relative
comfort. My energy level is high - none of the worn out feelings I had with my
first birth. Mali learned to nurse much more quickly and easily than Jacob did.
I think it has something to do with being put to the breast right after birth.
And speaking of nursing, while it could be that my body's done this before and
is just naturally responding more quickly, my milk's started coming in on day 2
where it took several days longer with Jacob.
I
should note that during the birth, our son was downstairs playing with the
nanny. They could hear what was going on through the baby monitor we had set up
for me so I could call down if I needed anything (like hot water - smile!).
Jacob played contentedly the entire time. His only commentary was at Mali's
first cry when he looked up and said "baby!"
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