Milkmen:
Fathers Who Breastfeed
by
Laura Shanley
I
first became interested in male lactation in 1978 after reading Dana Raphael's
book, The Tender Gift: Breastfeeding. Although Raphael only dealt
with the subject briefly, she did say that men can and have produced milk after
stimulating their nipples.
While
my husband David had no interest in nursing our son, we both were intrigued
with the idea. We had just had our first unassisted
homebirth and were excited about applying our positive thinking
techniques to other aspects of our lives. Although Raphael had written about
milk production through nipple stimulation, perhaps, we thought, David could do
it simply through suggestion. He began telling himself that he would lactate,
and within a week, one of his breasts swelled up and milk began dripping out.
When we excitedly showed my father (a physician) David's breast he said,
"Obviously there's something physiologically wrong with David." The fact that
David had willed himself to do this, did not impress him. We knew, however,
that this was yet another example of the
power of the mind.
Still,
we were not ready for David to actually breastfeed our baby. First of all,
there was no need for it. I was doing just fine on my own. But more
importantly, he simply had no desire to do it. After he discovered that his
body had indeed been responsive to his thoughts, he suggested to himself that
the lactation would stop, and within a week his breast returned to normal. The
experiment had been a success.
We
didn't give it much thought after that until years later when I came across a
short article called "Male Lactation" by Professor Patty Stuart Macadam of the
Department of Anthropology at the University of Toronto (Compleat Mother,
Fall, 1996, Volume 43).
It
is possible, and has been observed in animals and humans. In 1992, 18 Dayak
fruit bats were captured from a rainforest in the Krau Game Reserve, Pahang,
Malaysia. Of the 10 mature males captured, each had functional mammary glands
from which small amounts of milk were expressed. A breast is a breast. Male
lactation is physiologically possible and, according to Dr. Robert Greenblatt,
production in males can be stimulated by letting a baby suckle for several
weeks. Indeed some human males secrete milk at birth and at puberty.Historically,
male lactation was noted by the German explorer Alexander Freiherr von Humboldt
prior to 1859, who wrote of a 32-year-old man who breastfed his child for five
months. It was also observed in a 55-year-old Baltimore man who had been the
wetnurse of the children of his mistress.
My
interest in male lactation was piqued again when I recently received the
following letter from a friend of mine.
I
knew these two wonderful guys, very dear friends of mine for years. A mutual
acquaintance of ours was pregnant, unplanned, and did not want to do the whole
"adoption thing" so when the guys approached her about taking the baby, they
just proceeded as if it had been a planned surrogate pregnancy. The guys were
adamant that the baby should get breastmilk. So when she was in her 7th month
we bought a really good quality breastpump and Ian started pumping, every 2
hours during the day and once during the night. He was wonderful about it! He
used an SNS (supplimental nursing system) after she was born, with donated milk
from several friends who were nursing. He was making milk but not a full
supply. By the time the baby was 12 weeks old he was making a full milk supply!
He stayed at home with the baby (he was a massage therapist) and nursed her
exclusively until she was 8 months old!! I don't think many people outside
their intimate circle knew about it, I'm sure folks would have had a fit if
they'd known...but I thought it was wonderful!
While
reading my friend's letter, I suddenly remembered my mother telling me years
ago that as an infant I once tried to nurse on my father. I laughed about it at
the time, yet I'm sure it is a fairly common occurrence. Babies want to be
loved, nursed, and nurtured. The gender of the person doing it is not
important.
On
the other hand, I think it is safe to say that women are better suited to
breastfeeding than men are. They generally produce milk soon after birth, with
little or no nipple stimulation. If a mother is completely out of the picture,
however, as in the case of adoption, or a mother goes back to work and a baby
is left in the care of its father, for some families male breastfeeding might
be an acceptable alternative to formula bottles and pacifiers.
For
those who claim male lactation is "unnatural," I would have to ask: how natural
is canned formula from Nestle' or pacifiers made from petrolium byproducts? If
milk production in men were truly unnatural, it wouldn't exist. The fact that
it does, leads me to believe that perhaps male lactation is simply nature's
back-up system. In any case, it's an interesting phenomenon.
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Additional
information:
(Updated April 21, 2008)
I spoke briefly about male lactation on the show "Naked New York" with Bob Berkowitz. Click here
(new window opens) to watch the interview. I also spoke about it on the show "The Most Extreme" ("The Most Extreme Dads") on Animal Planet.
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I'm
passing this along for Greg Jenner, a producer at Bellwether Media in the UK:
Hello, my name is Greg Jenner and I am developing a documentary for the award-winning TV company, Bellwether Media.
I am looking to speak to men who have breast-fed their children, or who plan to do so, for a thoughtful and sensitive insight
into the lesser-known elements of modern parenting. We hope to explore the various gender issues, sociological perspectives,
biological reasons and psychological nuances which arise when men breastfeed; and we aim to break down its taboo status,
showing it to be both natural and practical. Please feel free to get in contact. Absolute confidentially and discretion is assured.
My e-mail is Greg.Jenner@bellwethermedia.co.uk. Many thanks.
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I'm
passing this along for Sarah Walker, a social anthropologist in the UK:
I am a social anthropologist currently undertaking research into the sexual
politics of breastfeeding. I first became aware of men's capacity to breastfeed
upon reading Helen Marieskind's article entitled 'Abnormal Lactation' in the Journal
of Tropical Pediatrics and Environmental Child Health. Marieskind
establishes the scientific case for men's capacity to breastfeed and in doing
so effectively undermines one of the key premises underlying much feminist
literature on breastfeeding i.e. breastfeeding is the exclusive capacity of
women. The fact that man's capacity to breastfeed is left largely unrealised in
our society has far-reaching theoretical and practical implications and may be
seen to reveal a great deal about our culture. This is a fascinating issue that
I am keen to investigate further. I would like to hear from any breastfeeding
fathers who are willing to share their experiences with me.
All the best,
Sarah Walker
s0237041@sms.ed.ac.uk
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I'm
passing this along for Rebecca Bayatti, an associate producer with Monkey
Kingdom:
UK TV company seeks men who lactate
I am currently working on a sensitive one hour documentary for a UK channel
looking at parents who subscribe to Attachment Parenting values. The film gives
a voice to people who are often derided in society due to misinformation on
breastfeeding and will offer them the chance to set the record straight.
We are now making a similarly sensitive film on men who breastfeed. I am now
hoping to find out more about this amazing physiological discovery and am
really interested in talking to men from both the US and the UK who have
experienced it first hand. I would also like to talk to those who are planning
to experiment with male lactation in the near future.
At this stage I am only looking to speak to people - there is no commitment and
all conversations will be treated confidentially. If you think you could help
me with my research, please drop me a line on
RebeccaB@monkeykingdom.com
Many thanks,
Rebecca
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I'm
passing this along for Dan Louw, a researcher with Be Good Films:
UK based TV company is looking for participants in a unique parenting experiment
Were you intrigued by Laura Shanley’s article on ‘Milkmen’? Would you or your
partner be interested in taking part in a ground breaking exploration that will
change the way we think about our bodies?
We are looking for an expectant couple that are prepared to swap roles for a little
while, and let the male have a shot at breastfeeding. The film we
intend to make would be a highly sensitive, non-sensational, character driven
story about family bonding.
At this stage we are looking only for men who are willing to give the
experiment a try. Previous experience would be great, but is absolutely not
essential. We will provide comprehensive medical advice and supervision at all
stages (if desired).
Ideally we are looking for UK-based participants, but we would also love to
hear from interested parties from anywhere in the world.
For more information, please contact dan@begoodfilms.co.uk.
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The following article was posted on
FunReports.com:
 12/15/05
- In the village of Novopokrovka of the Tumen region of Russia, a strange
phenomenon has been discovered. A tom-cat called Barsik has been looking after
kittens on his own. But that's not all. The strangest thing is that the heroic
father "breast-feeds" them. When Barsik's "girlfriend" died, his owners decided
to take the kittens. When the kittens were brought, Barsick accepted them and
began to feed them right away. And the cat’s masters are totally sure that
Barsik has milk.
Veterinarians have read of these kinds of cases in special literature but they
have never seen anything like that in real life. So it's great luck for them to
come across a nursing tom-cat. According to Svetlana Beletskaya, the assistant
at the local surgery department, the tom-cat might, genetically, have female
signs. Both the pet's masters and the professionals have decided that since he
has "adopted" the babies, it would be wiser to let him nurse them.
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The Guardian newspaper published an interesting article in June that mentioned
fathers who breastfeed. Click
here to read "Are the men of the African Aka tribe the best fathers in
the world?"
Excerpt: It's a question that has united Aristotle, Darwin and my
three-year-old in puzzlement: what exactly are male nipples for ? This week,
the charity Fathers Direct came up with an answer, courtesy of some research it
unearthed about a nomadic tribe of African hunter-gatherers. The answer, it
seems, is the one my three-year-old (and Darwin, to be fair) suspected all
along: male nipples are there as a stand-in for when mum isn't around and
there's a squawking bambino in dire need of something to suck.
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In
the news,
12/23/04: "Meet the Fockers star Dustin Hoffman is celebrating after becoming a
first-time grandfather earlier this month - but the good news has led to him
developing breastfeeding urges. His daughter Jenna and her husband Seamus
welcomed their son Augustus into the world just three weeks ago, and doting
granddad Hoffman admits the experience has given him strange desires. He says,
'I have felt almost the tendency to lactate. We don't realize, but when we're
formed in the womb, we have milk glands, before we're differentiated between
male or female and before God knows whether to make you male of female. When
you think about it, why should men have nipples? And yet we do. I didn't think
about it until I started to drip!'"
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The
May/June 2003 issue of And Baby,
a national gay parenting magazine, contains a wonderful article by Jennifer
Newton Reents about fathers who breastfeed. David was interviewed for the
article, and both my book and web site are mentioned. And Baby is
sold in many grocery stores, as well as most of the larger bookstores.
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There
is an excellent chapter about fathers who breastfeed in Fiona Giles' book,
Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts (Simon & Schuster, April
2003). The chapter includes a passage written by a man in Australia who nursed
his daughter until she was a year old. While the man didn't attempt to produce
milk, he found the emotional connection he made with her very gratifying. The
other chapters in the book are equally fascinating. Subjects include: cooking
with breastmilk (there are several recipes in the back of the book),
breastfeeding triplets, donating milk to a milkbank after the death of a child,
adult nursing, inducing lactation for an adopted child, lactation pornography,
as well as more conventional topics such as weaning an older child, and dealing
with mastitis. Sheila Kitzinger writes of the book, "An exciting, funny and
provocative book that covers new ground. Do you fancy a breastmilk cocktail?
Are you a breastfeeding father? Does milk spurt out when you make love? All the
things that the other books about breastfeeding don't say!"
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Jared
Diamond, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author and Professor of Geography at the
University of California, Los Angeles, wrote about male lactation in his 1997
book Why is Sex Fun?: The Evolution of Human Sexuality:
The
potential advantages of male lactation are numerous. It would promote a type of
emotional bonding of father to child now available only to women.....Today,
many or most mothers in first-world societies have already become unavailable
for breast-feeding, whether because of jobs, illness, or lactational failure.
Yet not only parents but also babies derive many benefits from breast-feeding.
Breast-fed babies acquire stronger immune defenses and are less susceptable to
numerous diseases....Male lactation could provide those benefits to babies if
the mother is unavailable for any reason.
Diamond also wrote about male laction in his article
Father's Milk (Discover, Feb., 1995; pages 83-87):
Experience
may tell you that producing milk and nursing youngsters is a job for the female
mammal, not the male. But your experience is probably limited, and the
potential of biology - and medical technology - is vast....Brace yourselves,
guys. Science is demolishing your last excuses. We’ve known for some time that
many male mammals, including some men, can undergo breast development and
lactate under special conditions. We’ve also known that many otherwise
perfectly normal male domesticated goats, with normal testes and the proven
ability to inseminate females, surprise their owners (and probably themselves)
by spontaneously growing udders and secreting milk....Lactation, then, lies
within a male mammal’s physiological reach. Soon,
some combination of manual nipple stimulation and hormone injections may
develop the confident expectant father’s latent potential to make milk [Note
from Laura: I don't recommend hormone injections, nor do I feel they are
necessary]. While I missed the boat myself, it wouldn’t surprise me if
some of my younger male colleagues, and surely men of my sons’ generation,
exploit their opportunity to nurse their children. The remaining obstacle will
then no longer be physiological but psychological: Will all you guys be able to
get over your hang-up that breast-feeding is a woman’s job?
To
read more about Jared Diamond and his work click
here.
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The
Talmud contains an interesting passage on male lactation (from a
1918 translation:
The
rabbis taught: "It happened with one man whose wife died and left him a nursing
child, he was so poor that he could not pay a wet-nurse. A miracle happened to
him; his breasts opened and he nursed his child." Said R. Joseph: Come and see
how great the man must have been that such a miracle was wrought for him. Said
Abayi to him: On the contrary, Behold how bad the man must have been that the
nature of mankind changed in him and nothing occurred to enable him to earn
enough money to pay a nurse. Says R. Jehudah: Come and see how hard it is for
heaven to change the fate of a man concerning his livelihood, that the nature
of the world was changed, but not his fate. Said R. Na'hman: It is proven by
this fact that a miracle occurred, but he was not provided with means for
paying a wet-nurse.
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The
following passages are from
Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine by George Gould, M.D. and Walter
Pyle, M.D. (1896)
Hunter
refers to a man of fifty who shared equally with his wife the suckling of their
children. There is an instance of a sailor who, having lost his wife, took his
son to his own breast to quiet him, and after three or four days was able to
nourish him. Humboldt describes a South American peasant of thirty-two who,
when his wife fell sick immediately after delivery, sustained the child with
his own milk, which came soon after the application to the breast; for five
months the child took no other nourishment. In Franklin's "Voyages to the Polar
Seas" he quotes the instance of an old Chippewa who, on losing his wife in
childbirth, had put his infant to his breast and earnestly prayed that milk
might flow; he was fortunate enough to eventually produce enough milk to rear
the child. The left breast, with which he nursed, afterward retained its
unusual size. [Note from Laura: This is definitely something to consider!]
According
to Mehliss some missionaries in Brazil in the sixteenth century asserted that
there was a whole Indian nation whose women had small and withered breasts, and
whose children owed their nourishment entirely to the males.
Ford
mentions the case of a captain who in order to soothe a child's cries put it to
his breast, and who subsequently developed a full supply of milk. He also
quotes an instance of a man suckling his own children.
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The
following passage is from The Sexual Life of Our Time by Iwan
Block, M.D. (1928)
The
mammary glands, the original function of which was perhaps the production of
odoriferous substances, but which later became devoted solely to the secretion
of milk, existed in our ancestors in a larger number than in the present human
race. This is clearly shown by the fact that the human embryo normally exhibits
a "hyperthelia," an excess of breasts, of which, however, two only normally
undergo development; moreover, the breasts of the male, which are now in a
state of arrested development, were formerly better developed, and served, like
those of the female, the purpose of nourishing the offspring. These facts are
clearly explicable on the assumption that at one time the number of offspring
at a single birth was considerable, and that in this way the preservation of
the species was favoured.
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Claudia
McCreary wrote about inducing lactation in both males and females in her
article
Male Wet Nurses Wanted (registration may be required). My only argument
with Claudia is that in addition to nipple stimulation, she believes that herbs
and/or medication must also be taken. I also disagree with her premise that men
who wish to breastfeed must be assisted by professionals. As my husband David's
experience proves, the mind is more powerful than most of us realize.
Visualization and affirmations can be used in lue of herbs or medication. If
more assistance is necessary, a breast pump can be utilized.
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Passages
about male lactation can also be found in the following books:
Unassisted Childbirth by Laura
Kaplan Shanley (1994)
Breast Feeding and Human Lactation by Jan Riordan & Kathy
Auerbach (1993)
Breastfeeding: a Guide for the Medical Profession by Ruth
Lawrence (1989)
Biological Anomalies: Mammals II: A Catalog of Biological Anomalies
by William Corliss (1996)
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Lactating
man in "Emblematic Figures" by Giulio Romano, 1499 - 1546
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The
following article appeared in
The Mercury newspaper on October 30, 2002.
Sri
Lankan widower breastfeeds his babies
Colombo
- A 38-year-old Sri Lankan man, whose wife had died three months ago, appears
to have the ability to breastfeed his two infant daughters, doctors said on
Wednesday.
The
man, from the central town of Walapone, lost his wife during childbirth.
"My
eldest daughter refused to be fed with powdered milk liquid in the feeding
bottle.
"I
was so moved one evening and to stop her crying I offered my breast. I then
realised that I was capable of breastfeeding her," the man admitted.
Dr
Kamal Jayasinghe, deputy director of a Sri Lankan government hospital, was
quoted as saying it was possible for men to produce milk if the prolactine
hormone became hyperactive. - Sapa-AFP
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Male
goats are known to occasionally produce milk. To the right of this goat's back
leg are his testicles. To the left is an udder.

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To
read more about fathers who breastfeed see
The Nursing Father by Judie Rall.
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